Two Truths and a Lie

Specific shortcomings should be evaluated in a specific frame. 

Failure. Missing out. Behind. These are all evaluative conclusions that often come not from the head so much as from the heart - and these heart-level conclusions often involve a mixture of truth and lie. It is true that our lives sometimes (or even often) fall short of our goals and expectations. It is also true that the overall dynamic that leads to this situation (i.e. setting goals, having expectations, doing our best, feeling the gap) can be a contribution to a healthy and fulfilling life. 

The lie is in the deeper meanings we often derive from these truths. The failure of a specific goal can land in our hearts as a much broader “I am a failure,” missing a specific event or opportunity lands as a broader “my life is missing out,” and falling behind on a project can feel like “my life is falling behind.” These deeper interpretations do NOT contribute to a healthy or fulfilling life. They rob the moment of joy, cloud our eyes to see the beauty in front of us, and put blinders on our ability to find new paths forward.