Tolerance, Precision, and Cost

What is the cost to our relationships of a small tolerance for different perspectives and priorities?

In engineering, tolerance is a numeric expression of the amount of variance that can be allowed for the project to still work. For example, the tolerance for leveling dirt in preparation for a road might be a few inches, while the tolerance for a machine that makes computer chips is microscopic. Engineering plans are carefully crafted to balance the benefits of greater precision against the pain of higher costs.  

With this understanding of the term, how much tolerance do we have for the perspectives and different priorities of other people? How much variance from our own perspective (which often feels like error) do we believe is allowable for our family, company, or society to ‘still work?’ Perhaps more importantly, do we recognize that maintaining a small tolerance toward others can incur high costs - like decreased collaboration or increased stress? Engineers intentionally balance the benefits of precision against the increased costs. How can we be similarly thoughtful in our own interactions? Relationships enjoy compelling benefits when they achieve high levels of like-mindedness, but these need to be balanced against the very real costs of pursuing that ‘high relational precision’, which can include strained or even broken relationships.